There are some stories I begin for my own sanity alone, usually as a rant in Outlook when I’m having a particularly bad day. The mood ends and the story often dies. Occasionally, I’m mad enough or bored enough that it takes on a life of its own. This work story–“Boolean Napoleons”–made it all the way to the end, but was never meant for public consumption. Like “Assistant to the Vampire,” it was written for my own amusement, but it’s even more self-indulgent than Vampire. The only reason I sent it out was as a requirement for a class–the other stories I was working on weren’t done and I wasn’t going to submit them before their time. And a few days later, I got an acceptance for Boolean Napoleons. I happened to be reading an article by Roxane Gay when I got the e-mail from PANK from Roxane Gay–small world moment.

It is very strange to see my work doodles that I ripped directly from my actual work steno blown-up on the web. And even stranger to hear my voice read this story.

This story was never really revised and despite its weaknesses, I feel it does capture something important about my day-to-day existence. So it’s nice to see it out in the world now.

Boolean Napoleons